Getting trapped in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I am writing this up on the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the sweetness of the day (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Before me, is the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. A blue sunny sky looms above. A white bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a dark wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I possibly could observe how easy it is always to be so trapped in the events of my entire life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views could be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events which have occurred in our past and our fears about the near future blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So trapped are we in the drama of our lives that we sometimes neglect to notice how blue is the sky or green will be the trees approximately white is the bikini. Our bodies might physically be in the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to the past and holds our future captive. We tend to trust which our responses to recent events are derived from present feelings when in fact they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't see that drama keeps us in the problem of the past in our present. Kept limited to our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we can study on new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
A crisis is just a deep and very personal story of what the "event" supposed to us. It is an engineered story of the "what is" by giving the "what is" your own meaning. An illustration: imagine you are driving down the expressway at a secure speed. Someone in a sports vehicle races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The truth of "what is" is that someone is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The personal story or drama that you simply created at the time could be "What a jackass! She must think I'm driving too slow and that I am not just a sufficient driver. At this moment we take the function personally. Another reality: your spouse walks away from the marriage. Your drama is: "I am unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I'll just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we can "grow" away from drama is to recognize the difference between what is reality and what is drama. The reality is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I acquired divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason, we constitute of how the function affects us and what it way to our lives (My boss is just a real jackass / I am unlovable). We always want to generate meaning in everything that takes place in our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what is reality and what is fiction and then just accepting the function because it is (I no longer have a job) minus the drama.
I am aware easier said then done. Often times it's in the story and the private meaning behind it that makes life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in a never ending cycle, the function never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations despite years of the initial occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anyone who doesn't text me right me straight away as time goes by should also mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to cultivate into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at the age it's occurrence.
The dramas in our lives are manufactured by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the actual issues. We reach awaken from the drama whenever we accept the fact we've the greatest power to turn around our lives. When we have the ability to create negative thoughts and emotions then we're also able to create a positive spin for a passing fancy event. Change the thought and emotions into something positive that will empower us and inspire others and subsequently we reach get back control in our lives. By accepting the function as what it is will free us from the emotional bond because it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be carried out by writing out a listing of what is happening without attaching the emotions related to it. In case of losing work your list might include:
1. I have now been fired
2. I no longer have work
3. I will have to find a brand new job
4. I haven't any income
5. I have little savings
After reading over your notes and removing all of the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The facts have presented itself in a way that you can address each issue to generate solutions that you can now handle and benefit from. Acceptance will permit you to detach from the drama so you will have a way to see your daily life separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You feel an outside observer in the events enabling you to effectively, clearly and without the judgments control of your reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of many big creeds that allow its members to raised handle their lives. In it, it states: "Acceptance is the clear answer to any or all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is basically because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable if you ask me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that individual, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."
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